Ke$ha Claims to NOT Use Autotune

Popular singer Ke$ha, who is famous for using the musical program Autotune, and for the large amount of glitter that permeates her very being, has claimed not to use Autotune. This is highly unlikely, however, as Ke$ha songs are known to contain high quantities of musical techniques only a robot could love. And even they have trouble coping with the disgusting aura this money-themed, cookie-cutter pop star dishes out.

If she doesn't use Autotune, then this isn't a heart attack on a bun

She looks like she hasn't taken a bath in years. Look, I'm all for originality, but when your image involves large parasites feeding on your dead skin and excess glitter, maybe it's time to regulate a bit. It's almost like she drinks just to purposely vomit on herself and not clean it off. Ke$ha, please, dear, honey, sweetie, we don't want a puke-encrusted diva 'singing' on stage. I put 'singing' in quotes because she's not singing. She's screeching, yelling, crying, yodeling, doing the can-can, anything BUT singing. It's all Autotuned, all the time.

Her first hit song, Tik Tok, was number one on the charts for a while, until it declined and eventually faded. Only to be replaced by another one of her God-forsaken songs, Blah Blah Blah, but by now, this reporter was Gone Gone Gone. It takes ALOT to make me hate an artist, but KeSha, oh god Ke$ha succeeded in doing just that. Don't expect me to willingly listen to another one of your songs until you at least wash your hair. Or buy Soap-On-A-Rope. For Ke$ha-cleaning convenience.

                                                                                                     Written by C. Skelly